“It all started in my higher secondary school. One of my friends used to loathe herself for being short. Initially I wondered, ‘Why does she always put herself down for her look?’ But then, it rubbed on to me. I started feeling uneasy with my weight and things only got worse as I grew older, thanks to my pooch. ‘Are you pregnant?’ is a question that I have lived with from the time I was 25,” says 30-year-old Manali Banerjee (name changed on request). But with time, Manali learnt to love her body unconditionally. “It is only after accepting my body the way it is, could I make the efforts necessary for a healthy change. I told myself that I need to lose weight because it is affecting my health, not because I need to look a certain way,” recalls this Kolkata-based IT professional. Well, Manali is one among millions across the globe who struggle with body image issues. But she is one of the very few women who are able to battle it out successfully.
Unfortunately, women with this issue have fallen prey to a pathological condition called Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD), reveals a growing body of research. “BDD is marked by an intense preoccupation with a perceived flaw in one’s physical appearance. Individuals with BDD spend a lot of time checking their appearance in the mirror, comparing with others, and engaging trying to hide the body part they are ashamed of,” says Prachi S Vaish, clinical psychologist and the founder of HopeNetwork.in.
WHERE DOES IT ALL STEM FROM?
In our society, it is quite difficult for women to love their bodies effortlessly. Various surveys across the world have revealed that a significant cross section of the female population are not only unhappy, but repelled by the body they are born with, thanks to centuries of social conditioning about a their ‘necessity’ to look ‘beautiful’ in terms of body weight, skin, hair, so on and so forth. So, it is only natural for a women to hate her body if it doesn’t fit into the socially-determined ‘mold’. “Society expects women to be beautiful. Their definition of beautiful includes terms like ‘fair’, ‘thin’, ‘doe eyes ‘small face’, etc,” says Dr. Bhavna Barmi, senior clinical psychologist, Fortis Escorts Heart Institute and founder of Happiness Studio. Under these circumstances, it is natural for a woman to hate her body if it doesn’t fit into the socially-framed mould . “Having people around you who have body image issues, being bullied for a certain physical aspect and changes during puberty like acne, hair growth, weight gain, breast growth, etc. can also make you detest your body,” says Vaish. Another crucial factor behind this condition is the way media influences women about how they should look.
HOW DOES BODY IMAGE ISSUE IMPACT US?
Dissatisfaction with one’s body has been found to impact women in more ways than one. It may lead to eating disorder, depression and anxiety. “Some women have already set standards about the ‘perfect’ body. Feelings of guilt emerge if they are not able to reach the benchmark they have set for themselves,” says Dr. Barmi. Body image issues may also take a toll on your self-esteem. “Body image and self-esteem directly influence each other. If you don’t like your body or any part of your body then it’s hard to feel good about your whole self. The reverse is also true: If you don’t value yourself, it’s hard to respect your body,” observes Dr. Barmi. A person with low self-esteem is likely to make poor life choices, especially in terms of life partner. Her expectations about how she should be treated may also be flawed.
OVERCOMING BODY IMAGE ISSUES
This is a change that needs to take place internally. Start loving your body while staying focussed on your health goals. Remember, a crucial aspect of loving your body is about realising that beauty isn’t limited to your external attributes. Here are some tips to help you in your journey in beating body image blues:
Stop bullying your body
“Pay attention to the negative labels you unconsciously apply to your body parts: My hands are large; I’m so bald; My skin is horrible. Stop yourself deliberately from this negative self talk,” says Vaish. Harsh self-criticism is known to stimulate your brain’s threat and stress response. Elevated levels of stress hormone may lead to various physical and mental health issues, which are not congenial for a healthy change. Pitting yourself against others in terms of your looks is also a sort of self-bully. “The people you idolise are not perfect. No-one ever is. They may be struggling with an aspect of their lives that you might be master of. So, focus on your assets and ‘feel’ beautiful from inside,” says Vaish. It is very important to identify your inner bully and tame it down. So, every time you end up being negatively biased about your body, take time out to praise it equally, if not more.
Practise self compassion
Well, it may be quite tough for someone experiencing body image issues. Take some time out every day to remind yourself of the things you should be thankful to your body for. Instead of focussing on what it should be like, make special efforts to think about what all it has done for you so far. Here is an interesting suggestion for you: Write a compassionate letter to your body. In an experiment done by psychology professor Renee Engeln, author of Beauty Sick, women were asked to participate in an activity that required them to write compassionate letters to the self and to their bodies. The activity was shown to improve their body image significantly. This exercise helped them develop a more kind and gentle attitude towards themselves and their bodies.
Work on your self-worth
Train your brain to think positively about yourself. Take a pen and a piece of paper and jot down 10 things that you love about yourself. Sometimes we need to go through this process of self-introspection to remind us of our good sides, that we generally overlook. Follow this up with another listicle on 10 good things about your body. Standing in front of the mirror and telling yourself things like, “I am beautiful”, “I am strong” could also help. You need to do this repeatedly every day. Saying positive things to and about the self using I statements help you learn the language of confidence, self-worth and compassion. If standing in front of the mirror seems awkward to you, say the same things sitting in a quiet corner of your home.
Do not change yourself for the wrong reasons
Are you on a weight-loss mission? Well, while it is always good to shed extra kilos, you must ask yourself. In most cases, the answer lies in hatred towards one’s own body. But an attempt to change triggered by the desire for a certain look isn’t effective. According to a study published in Psychology & Health, if someone intends to work out for aesthetic benefits, then he or she is less likely to stick to the routine. Rewire your brain to change the way you think. Instead of thinking that you need to hit the treadmill because you are fat, make efforts to think like this: I want to do the treadmill because I want to be healthy.
Choose what you want to see and read
Research suggests that our negative body image perception is, to a large extent, shaped by television, magazines and social media. So experts advise you to minimise your exposure to these sources as much as possible. Also, make a judicious choice about what to follow and what not to.
Come out of your shell
Do you hide yourself to cover up your perceived body flaw? You need to push yourself out of your comfortable hiding zone. Muster up the courage to go out in the front and talk to people about things that you are not comfortable with. Try it once and you will feel the difference.